Darkness, light, and the joy of Pj’s

So, was it yesterday that I wrote about Faith, Hope and Love and did I mention the dark side and stomping on it and all that? Well, I DO believe that’s possible, but today, I just feel the need to clarify a bit.

Darkness is dark and no one is excluded from being seduced by it. Just as misery loves company, the dark side “parties” with the induction of new recruits. So, that’s all, I just felt like yesterday’s post was incomplete. I’m done. End of sermon.

Now, this is random, but I’m excited…I found a new idea for fashion for 2017 and I’m totally serious about this: pajamas!

I’ve longed struggled with trying to find clothes that look good on me and as I get older, this problem only seems to get worse! Clothes look great on hangers, but try them on and no, just no to some of them.

Anyway, I recently read an email about sleep-wear being on sale and I browsed around and lo and behold the idea came to me…pajamas!

You’ve no idea how much peace and glee I found in the possibilities of what I could buy in this underrepresented fashion realm. Yay!

I may be an older woman, but I don’t care to wear some baby colored, frilly, felt, flowery nightgown or in Pepto- Bismol pink PJ’s that look (to me) like children’s onesies seriously.

No.

Instead, I looked on the Gap and Soma and check this out, on Bare Necessities, now that’s what I’m talking about. I’d even wear some of that to work!

All right, now, after all this writing of dark, light and pajamas and such, it’s getting late. It’s been a long day. Hope yours was good.

~Peace, light and PJ’s.

The opportunity

“Ho, ho, ho!” I don’t think that’s what a merry laugh really sounds like. I usually hear “Hah, hah, hah, snort, clap!” Maybe Santa was actually “Ho-ing”in an attempt at lifting all he had to carry this year? Maybe he wasn’t laughing at all??

But, seriously, Merry Christmas to you and Merry “other-holidays” to others.

I wish you well in these days that most agree come with a mixture of Merry-ness and all sorts of other “nesses”.

As the year comes to a close, I wish it farewell. Thankfully, it went fast! I’m trying not to dislike it and instead see it for what it is, an opportunity.

The opportunity to break. To finally reach a breaking point, to reach a sort of end and completeness. An”end” to things feels sucky and dark. But, the dark side’s power is a sham. As a matter of fact, belief, faith, I think it has deep purpose.

I’m no expert. I’m no preacher, but I did watch some Star Wars movies. Old and new. The force is with us. (Look it up: mental and moral strength)

At some point, we can drag ourselves from this pit with the force, there waiting for us (if we want it) is the ever always heroes of: faith, hope and love.

And yes, the greatest of these is LOVE, but don’t discount FAITH and HOPE. These are BIG too. If needed, look at these as the branches of government. You get the idea.

Right now, if there is a sort of a dark power rising up in your life, step on the fucker with a foot of faith and hope. Even just a flicker will snuff out the power of the deadly red saber.

~May the FORCE be with you.

 

A small gift of time

 

It’s given to us generously and we often take it for granted until we find ourselves with a lack of it. We fill our time with this and that. We dream of desires to do this and that when we steal a bit of time for ourselves. But, often, we don’t even do those things. *Guilty*

We sweep the floor, we shop for gifts, hang the stockings, wash the clothes, etc., but am I remembering that even those busy times are still times that others wish they had. While we stay busy, others suffer a time they hadn’t asked for and resent what has been given. Holiday time shouldn’t be for mourning, crying, or sitting alone. It shouldn’t involve being cold, hungry or desperately addicted.

Be still and know that He is God and we are not. But we can be guides, messengers, and vehicles for his love and healing. Am I listening to the voice that says “Allow yourselves to be used. Speak words of kindness, encouragement and peace to others who need it.”

I’ll try. If nothing else is produced in me, then please God, let it be that I can bring peace to another, kindness, and above all, love.

~Peace.

 

 

 

Sunday’s Sentiments

Update:

What I have been doing is approximately about 96% of what I should be doing. But, as I write this, I think, wait, who’s to say my choices are wrong? Who is it that dictates what activities I need to be involved in? What shows I watch, how I spend my money, or how I spend my time?

So, what am I doing?

I’ve been working, mostly and trying to manage time, energy and giving of myself between jobs, students and family.

What am I not doing? Well, apparently, the Christmas season is upon us(me) and so I should probably be playing Mrs. Santa and baking sugar cookies or whatever. There’s always something the world has us think we should be involved in depending on the  season. Some of those things, yes, would be cool to do, but  I’ve decided this year that according to those rules, if I get a Christmas tree up and decorated, that it would be good.

And enough of the philosophical talk, I would like to say that I’m happily busy with work and with relationships that are meaningful. I don’t think I can ask for more. I’m trying to be grateful for the people I’ve been chosen to love and for those who come in and out of my life by way of work, where I live and what I do on a daily, weekly basis.

What are you doing and how will you spend this busy season of life? I hope it’s good.

~Peace.

 

 

Monday Morning

I had a case of “morn-somnia”, that is when you wake in the wee hours* of the morning and fail to go back to sleep, and so I thought I’d do a quick update and feel somewhat productive.

Okay, so the update:

Though I’m a writer at heart, and enjoy work in pj’s, I’ve pretty much launched myself headlong into the work-out-of-home arena. The good news? Well, there is the income thing, sure, but I think the w.o.o.h jobs have put some balance into my personality. I tend to withdraw from the world happily, and even though that’s nice for me, it does nothing to help the world at large. And in my opinion, the world at large needs every one of us to give of ourselves. So, like a good cup of coffee, each day, I attempt to pour myself out onto humanity to see what good I can help do. And if I can’t help, then at least, I have tried.

When I’m home, I try to recuperate so that I can then pour myself onto the people in my life that truly matter. All 5 of us were together for Thanksgiving and it was great to just be together and talk, eat and enjoy each other.

So, here it is Monday and it’s a new week. There is much to do, more to work on and love to pass along to others. I’m thankful.

~Peace.

 

 

 

Writing, sharing…etc.

I want to share a post I just wrote on my other blog. Why? Well, it’s kind of proof to myself that I have, in fact, been writing. No, I have not written much fiction, or my next novel or whatever, but I have written. And today, I realized that if put together just so, I might have the pieces s of a potential future book about tutoring young children…so there. 😉

Anyway, to update, I have been pretty busy lately, not with just writing necessarily, but with 3 part-time jobs. And one of these jobs isn’t quite like the others, but I do know why I like it, more on that later.

But, for now, I want to share about a conundrum. The holidays are coming at a fierce pace and I’m not ready. I told myself that this year I wanted to enjoy the holidays, but what does that look like for a busy woman? What can be accomplished without spending too much money and with little planning time? And sadly, I don’t have a dining table!!

Anyway, that is my conundrum that I feel it has been self-imposed. Though I may have an imaginative mind and devotion to traditions,  I had completely forgotten about how one of my jobs is linked to the one tradition, that happens every year, that I hadn’t really cared to participate in: Black Friday! But, here I am, a cashier on the busiest shopping days of the season. How’s that supposed to make my holidays merrier?

But, that said, as cashier in the heart of Seattle, I have enjoyed chatting with tourist/customers and learning about various cultures and their favorite traditions and foods. I have enjoyed getting to know new co-workers and experiencing challenges in a field I know nothing about.

But, I have also struggled with time management, time for personal relationships, marriage, homework, cooking meals, etc… and finding balance with life in general. My dreams, melt-downs and messy house tell me so. Of course, perfection will never happen and I don’t expect to have all the answers, but I trust that if I follow the way of peace and kindness, I will be okay. But, along the way, if you experience my dark side, I’m sorry. Really, I am.

I want to be a Jedi. I need to be a Jedi.

~Peace

 

I’m an ostrich

Yeah, I’m not a musician, but some mornings I wake up hearing the best guitar solo, seriously, but with no instrumental talent to let it out. I guess I’m “inner-expressing”. It seems a much safer avenue then letting it out which at times I choose to do and it ain’t pretty, raw emotion rarely is. It‘s like having a lion inside my inner lamb that needs to roar and my inner controls just are tired of holding onto it, so I let it go. Roar! and all too quickly following the roar is a paw going right to my mouth which then transforms into like a chicken claw (can’t think of the animal lingo) and I become an Ostrich ready to stick my head in the sand. Do ostriches really do that? Ostriches are weird. I don’t even know if I’m spelling it right, but too early to check. Maybe I’m an ostrich because only recently I saw a video comparing a sound they make to a lion.

Ok, enough about animals I don’t know much about. I’m writing because I woke up early and I have a busy day ahead of me and I just want time to click the keyboard in peace. I may not be able to fly my fingers on guitar strings, but I can type, and fast! Okay, not like Elaine-fast 😉

What woke me up? A dream I was having. In it I was pulling up a chair and talking to my mother and I was enjoying it. The older I get, the more I get her, the more I understand her and it, the roar. She needed to roar at times, she needed us to know it was there and now I understand why.

~Roar! (then go stick your head in the sand)

 

 

Monday

So, last thing on the bug thing: I did find his corpse, so he was all dead.

Now, moving on from that to other (#random) topics. Seattle has become a mixture of clouds, rain and gorgeous sunny days. The colors of fall are mostly orange. As I drive across the Aurora bridge to work, I think about where I could perch myself to get a shot of the trees and when?? I have a “C” in picture taking lately, which causes my photo blog to become stagnant. I need a pic taking goal.

I’ve also had many thoughts about Colorado recently. If you’ve lived there you would understand. The leaves of an Aspen tree become so vibrant during Autumn. And it made me fall in love with fall 😉

I must eat breakfast…that is all for now.

~Peace amigos.

 

 

 

It started with a bug, Pt. 2

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This is part 2 of a 2 part post. Read yesterday’s if you want to be clued in, but basically I lost a bug and now I FOUND HIM!

I’m ashamed about this part, but I was actually late to an appointment this morning because after I found the bug, I had to photograph him so I could do a follow up post! (And also to prove to myself that I wasn’t crazy or had digested a bug)

The bad news is, I found him on my side of the bed and it made me wonder…had the bug been on me in the middle of the night? (EWW, and Ugh)

But, it doesn’t matter and as I neared to him to take his picture (which was terribly out of focus), he puffed himself up (to scare me) and it worked!

I took off to the kitchen to find some chemicals to kill the bug (not thinking about the wood floors) and I found the Clorox bleach all-purpose cleaner. I ran back to my room and sprayed him. I guess he was mostly dead because he was still not moving and was barely able to move away from the deadly foam.

It was as he made his slow escape,  I thought about the bleach on the wood floors.

Not wishing to scoot the bug with anything, but needing to clean up the chemicals, I waited with a hand towel and as the bug slowly made his death march, tipped on it’s back and breathed it’s last. I quickly wiped up the Clorox narrowly missing touching the bug with the towel, and then quickly left for my appointment.

I have yet to check if his corpse is where I had left it, if it’s not, then there will be a part 3. If it’s still there, thank you for staying with me through my bug phobia finale.

~Peace (we’ll see)

 

It started with a bug

I haven’t slept very well for a while. I keep waking up at odd hours and one night when I woke up, I reached for my phone and started surfing the web and heard a buzz near my ear. Not wanting to panic or wake others, I shook my hair out and walked quickly to the bathroom to find the bug. I had spotted that ugly black bug earlier in the day and forgotten about it, but with the attraction to the light of my phone, it let me know that it still lived.

I was confused and having de ja vu. This bug was sizable and though I’ve experienced a spider or two here in Seattle, bugs were pretty much off the radar. Had I brought this bug here from a recent trip to Texas? Where had this bug come from??

The next evening, knowing the buzzing bug still lived, I delayed going to bed. I didn’t care to share my bedroom with an ugly bug. I remembered it’s attraction to the light, and so I experimented. I left lights on outside my bedroom hoping to draw the bug out. I waited until a little after midnight and with heavy eye-lids, finally, I decided (cleverly I thought) to place a nightlight strategically close to the window (where I saw it last), but far from my side of the bed and then I went reluctantly to bed.

I struggled to fall asleep “tenting” a sheet around my head, not wishing to have a buzz near my ear or face. I finally fell asleep convincing myself that the bug would be more attracted to the night-light than my face.

The next day, after waking up, and thinking my plan succeeded, I walked to the bathroom peering around both hoping and dreading to see the bug. But, it wasn’t there. It was early, and still dark outside, so I returned to bed and dove back under the covers and tried unsuccessfully to go back to sleep. So, I tented the sheet around me, pulled out my phone, dimmed the screen and read until I got sleepy again hoping not to hear a bug buzz near me. I finally fell asleep again.

An hour or so later, I woke up with a sore head and not feeling rested. I went to work foggy and my stomach starting to ache.

I stayed at work feeling yuck and then went home gratefully. When I got home, I walked into my bedroom pulling and ruffling the drapes, hoping to see (and not see) the dreaded bug. It wasn’t there?! And that’s when I decided that I must’ve eaten it. I have no proof of it’s prior existence nor do I have proof that I ate it (except my stomach issues), so I concluded and accepted that I must’ve digested the thing. Ugh.

And then, (to make matters worse!) as I’m sitting here typing this bug story, I researched the bug I saw and it matched something called a kissing bug!!! Holy *&$#@! This kind of bug sucks human blood after the victim is sound asleep. Yuck.

Later in the day, I took a nap (in the living room) because I still had a headache and face ache and it all started with my encounter with a stalking bug!

The only thing keeping me from completely not wanting to go to my bedroom tonight is that I still have not found the bug and I have no proof of a bite like the woman in the story, so, that is why I believed that I ate it. UGH. So, at least, the bug is gone.

~sorry, no peace from me today. 😦