blogging – I Write

Red-eye spark…

I really don’t understand why a subconjuctival hemmorage can spark my writing juices? What is a subconjuctival hemmorage you ask? Basically, it’s when a blood vessel bursts in the eye. Nothing serious thankfully.

Last Sunday, is when this crisis began, with the outer corner of my right eye the color of hot sauce. The initial discovery was frightening, but in the next couple, even more frightening. This was no joke!

Each day, I woke up thinking it would start to fade, but each day I woke up and startled myself at what I saw in the mirror. I looked like a zombie! I finally went to see the eye doctor on day 5 and although I’m grateful this wasn’t an infection, he told me I would only have to put up with the red eye for another week. Another week!

I decided staying home alone in my bedroom away from my roommates was the best solution until the isolation got to me, I felt like I did when I had covid. It was NOT a good feeling.

Here I am on day 6 and 99.5 % of my eye is still red, but it’s starting to feel less raw, at least. And I did finally go out…wearing sunglasses, lol.

I don’t know why it took a sort of crisis, a “forced” Friday evening home for me to stop the busyness cycle? If I say I enjoy writing, why isn’t it part of my daily life more? Why don’t I fill out a day on my calendar for it or even an hour a week to write? Why a red-eye to spark the flame?

*sigh

Anyway, I hope all y’all clear-eyed people are doing well and I also hope that you are doing the something that feeds your soul. Plan for it. Do it. Don’t let it take a subconjuctival hemmorage or other minor crisis to spark the juice. Be better than me!

Be you.

Itsy-bitsy Spider part 2

So A few posts back I wrote about Spidy, the Spider who lived in my car. It was so tiny and in hindsight, I was the first being that it saw and I , not being the lover of arachnids, swiped at it! So it vanished, but I kept seeing webs inside my car…and so I knew it was alive and inevitably growing.

So that was back in November. About a month ago, I thought Spidy was dead as I hadn’t seen any more web-vidence (ha!)

But then…I saw a spider in my bedroom! I have seen no bugs in this house except one spider. For a couple days it stayed high on the wall. Like getting a feel for me? Next couple of days, I couldn’t find it. So I sprayed my bedroom with bug spray.

Well I thought I had killed it, but I found it again. It was on me apparently! I was working my my office-bed and I had gotten warm wearing a long sleeve shirt. I got up to take it off and Spidy jumps outta my shirt and I screamed and threw my shirt at it and it ran into my closet. Again vanishing.

But I found it again the next day on the side of my mattress! I was afraid, but also bewildered? Like what is it after? Is my bedsheet ridden with unseen bugs? Or are there bugs in my hair? I knew I had to kill it. So what did I do?

I got the bug spray and sprayed my bed frame. That was only after trying to swat at it with a bag I had nearby. Of course missing.

Anyway, I thought this had finally killed it or at least would keep it from my bed, but no! I couldn’t believe it but I found it again the next morning. By this time my sleep was affected and I slept and woke in intervals turning on and off the light to check the location and to rustle up my blankets and pillows in hopes of creating a hostile environment for Spidy.

Spidy lived because yet again I found him near the bed. He must’ve been at least high from the bug spray because finally I got him the old fashioned, but reliable way. I stepped on him and that was the end of Spidy.

Although I was elated Spidy was finally gone, I started to think about that he was quite possibly trying to get near me because he thought I was his mother!! After all if I was the first living creature he saw in infancy it made sense that he climbed aboard me in my car and made it to my bedroom.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so depressing writing this. I honestly felt like I needed writing closure to the last post about Spidy.

I hope you have a spider free enjoyable Mother’s Day!

Cocoa Bombs

Those who know me understand that I love chocolate to a possibly dysfunctional level.

I own that. I know chocolate isn’t the answer to life’s big problems, but neither are a lot of other things in the world.

I’m just enjoying what the dark yummy substance adds to my life.

This post is not meant in any way to give hints for gift giving, necessarily, but more as an encouragement to enjoy some of the good things in life!

Another reason for this post is to share an imperfect outcome of a chocolate diy , I made cocoa bombs! They came out looking imperfect, but it was fun making them and looks don’t matter, they tasted great!

The “Itsy-bitsy ” Spider

I neither like insects nor hate them. I just accept that I have to live with them especially since I live in Texas currently.

Mind you, in its infancy, I’ve already made it angry or afraid for its life by batting at it which with a spider is not necessarily the best idea because then it hides….and grows!

What I won’t accept is that there is a tiny spider that currently resides in my car. It was so tiny a few days ago that I needed my readers to see that it was actually a spider. Today, I can clearly see it without using my glasses, ugh, so it’s developing, growing into what some day could be a larger one!

So, I’ve been thinking about what to do. Because I’m not a killer of life if there’s another way to deal with it, which I haven’t thought of, so unless someone has an idea, I’m taking my vehicle to the dealership where they will clean the interior and I hope it gets sucked into its next life!

If I don’t act now, I will have a bigger problem on my hands and I just can’t.

A Change

It’s subtle, but the signs appear.

Cooler evenings. Dew on grass.

Leaves waving, a branch bending, colors changing.

The sky changes, the air thins, the sun weakens.

A season ending, a season beginning.

Missing the old, embracing the beauty of the new.

Like a raging toddler to a calmer kindergartener,

From clumsy puppy to a stately dog.

Miss the old, embrace the new.

From running swiftly, to aching muscles,

From fresh ideas to reminiscing.

dog on concrete road — Photo by Daniel Frank on Pexels.com

From youth to old.

Miss the old, embrace the new.

The mess has a purpose

Here on the right is a mess, but without knowing the story, you can’t know how it got to be there, why it’s the way it is and why certain pieces are part of this particular mess. That is because you do not know the planner or the purpose of the planner.

On the left is the outcome of such a mess. Inside the box are lessons that were planned from the mess. Inside the box, are lessons tailor made for the player of the box. It took a mess to get to the plan of the box. The things in the mess are not invaluable. The things left out of the box weren’t insignificant, they just weren’t needed. They didn’t belong in the plan, but they were part of the planning. They were sifted through, and put aside to be used at the right time.

As I look at both sides, the box with a plan and the mess, I ask myself, “Which do I prefer to work with?” I think and the answer is that I prefer the box with activities that I know will work for the player. I choose the box because the things in it have purpose for the growth of the player.

Think of these things. Chew on this analogy. What does it fit in your life?

Lettuce pray…

I had a bout of insomnia a week ago and in the course of that fitful night, an image much like a repeating meme came to my mind.

My (meme) was of a head of romaine lettuce being cut with a pair of kitchen scissors and no matter which way I tried to fall asleep, I kept seeing lettuce being snipped.

(I know, crazy right?)

I finally fell asleep, but in the morning, the image came to mind.

I often feel like God talks to me through my dreams, but an image, or vision of lettuce??

What could the God of the universe have to say through greens?

I felt compelled to put salad on the menu for the coming week. I bought romaine lettuce and other salad ingredients and was ready.

The day came for salad and I eagerly “stepped up to the plate” a little to eager with scissors in my right hand and dripping freshly washed head of romaine in my left hand –salad spinner on the counter.

I shook the head of lettuce over the sink to remove the excess water and before plunging in with the scissors, I gazed at the innocent head of lettuce, took a breath and began the snipping. Just as I thought, the snipping sound itself gave a satisfaction. I smiled as I snipped, snipped and snipped again.

As more and more leaves fell into the salad spinner, the core of the romaine became smaller and lighter. I cut again until just the heart was left, devoid and bald in my hand.

I then put the scissors down and inspected the heart. I turned it around and looked at the stump. After a minute, I very satisfactorily chunked it into the trash can.

I went back to the salad spinner, filled it with water, drained it and began pumping the water out. I used this time to think about what just happened and then fitting words came to my mind. I felt content, satisfied.

I continued spinning the leaves until they were only damp and left the kitchen counter smiling.

It is complete.

Careful …

Just when you think you’ve reached it, your stomach sinks, your dreams change,

Your eyes fill, your color fades.

Be careful.

Take care, remind yourself how far you’ve come.

Don’t let ’em knock you down.

Take a mental health break.

Be good to yourself when you’ve been punched yet again.

Remember, your scars aren’t visible. You hide them most days.

Remind those loved ones who care, that you need them.

It’s okay, be careful.

Let her be

This plant, I’d almost given up for dead, when in reality her new life was yet to be. I’m glad I waited and I’m still waiting to see the beauty she will bring forth. It’s taking it’s sweet damn time though!

It will be worth the wait, to see the colorful blooms in all their snobbish beauty. They will be the highlight and center of my attention, for a while. Even for a good while. Until, with life’s daily troubles, I will become distracted or neglectful of it’s beauty. Not necessarily on purpose, but by sheer humanness.

That is when I need to say, “Hey, look, take care, water, pay attention…snap-out-of-it!”

For this plant though, I’m glad I waited on her. I’m glad I kept watering her and giving her attention. And, as before, I know she will unveil her beauty in her sweet time. Give her time.

Wednesday: willingness to write

So, I’ve noticed my blog has not yet been shut down or abandoned me… I feared it would put me in a time-out corner for not visiting, but alas, it’s still here, faithful. Coooool….

I have a lot to say and nothing being that I’m clam-like. I’m wondering if better writers are more open? OR, maybe what I should’ve done to begin with is used a pseudonym, (now I get it….)

So, on to the non-open topics of which may not attract so much attention, but which I choose to write in my “non-pseudonymed” state:

The sun has not, yet abandoned Seattle. It yet shines. Yay.
I’ve come to enjoy calling two to three places home, but, technology has yet to catch up with my desires to clone myself.
The process of making big life changes resembles the pace of rush hour traffic.
These 8 things are good for my body or soul: prayer, exercise, yoga, outdoors, quiet time, 2 happy hour drinks, moderate sugar and writing.
Of the things in list 4 that are healthy, I often need good company, encouragement or a kick in the ass to do them.
Stress kills the mind, body, desire, energy and creativity.
God still speaks. His latest: “Do not forget to whom you belong.”
It’s a job to find a job.
Social media is both fun and depressing.
My children are a ray of sunshine in my life.