“Ho, ho, ho!” I don’t think that’s what a merry laugh really sounds like. I usually hear “Hah, hah, hah, snort, clap!” Maybe Santa was actually “Ho-ing”in an attempt at lifting all he had to carry this year? Maybe he wasn’t laughing at all??
But, seriously, Merry Christmas to you and Merry “other-holidays” to others.
I wish you well in these days that most agree come with a mixture of Merry-ness and all sorts of other “nesses”.
As the year comes to a close, I wish it farewell. Thankfully, it went fast! I’m trying not to dislike it and instead see it for what it is, an opportunity.
The opportunity to break. To finally reach a breaking point, to reach a sort of end and completeness. An”end” to things feels sucky and dark. But, the dark side’s power is a sham. As a matter of
fact, belief, faith, I think it has deep purpose.
I’m no expert. I’m no preacher, but I did watch some Star Wars movies. Old and new. The force is with us. (Look it up: mental and moral strength)
At some point, we can drag ourselves from this pit with the force, there waiting for us (if we want it) is the ever always heroes of: faith, hope and love.
And yes, the greatest of these is LOVE, but don’t discount FAITH and HOPE. These are BIG too. If needed, look at these as the branches of government. You get the idea.
Right now, if there is a sort of a dark power rising up in your life, step on the fucker with a foot of faith and hope. Even just a flicker will snuff out the power of the deadly red saber.
~May the FORCE be with you.
It’s given to us generously and we often take it for granted until we find ourselves with a lack of it. We fill our time with this and that. We dream of desires to do this and that when we steal a bit of time for ourselves. But, often, we don’t even do those things. *Guilty*
We sweep the floor, we shop for gifts, hang the stockings, wash the clothes, etc., but am I remembering that even those busy times are still times that others wish they had. While we stay busy, others suffer a time they hadn’t asked for and resent what has been given. Holiday time shouldn’t be for mourning, crying, or sitting alone. It shouldn’t involve being cold, hungry or desperately addicted.
Be still and know that He is God and we are not. But we can be guides, messengers, and vehicles for his love and healing. Am I listening to the voice that says “Allow yourselves to be used. Speak words of kindness, encouragement and peace to others who need it.”
I’ll try. If nothing else is produced in me, then please God, let it be that I can bring peace to another, kindness, and above all, love.
I want to share a post I just wrote on my other blog. Why? Well, it’s kind of proof to myself that I have, in fact, been writing. No, I have not written much fiction, or my next novel or whatever, but I have written. And today, I realized that if put together just so, I might have the pieces s of a potential future book about tutoring young children…so there. 😉
Anyway, to update, I have been pretty busy lately, not with just writing necessarily, but with 3 part-time jobs. And one of these jobs isn’t quite like the others, but I do know why I like it, more on that later.
But, for now, I want to share about a conundrum. The holidays are coming at a fierce pace and I’m not ready. I told myself that this year I wanted to enjoy the holidays, but what does that look like for a busy woman? What can be accomplished without spending too much money and with little planning time? And sadly, I don’t have a dining table!!
Anyway, that is my conundrum that I feel it has been self-imposed. Though I may have an imaginative mind and devotion to traditions, I had completely forgotten about how one of my jobs is linked to the one tradition, that happens every year,
that I hadn’t really cared to participate in: Black Friday! But, here I am, a cashier on the busiest shopping days of the season. How’s that supposed to make my holidays merrier?
But, that said, as cashier in the heart of Seattle, I have enjoyed chatting with tourist/customers and learning about various cultures and their favorite traditions and foods. I have enjoyed getting to know new co-workers and experiencing challenges in a field I know nothing about.
But, I have also struggled with time management, time for personal relationships, marriage, homework, cooking meals, etc… and finding balance with life in general. My dreams, melt-downs and messy house tell me so. Of course, perfection will never happen and I don’t expect to have all the answers, but I trust that if I follow the way of peace and kindness, I will be okay. But, along the way, if you experience my dark side, I’m sorry. Really, I am.
I want to be a Jedi. I need to be a Jedi.
To “no longer” is to linger no more.
To “no longer” is to reboot.
To “no longer” is to act boldly on a new idea.
To “no longer” is to seek and pursue a more peaceful way.
To “no longer” manages chronic pain.
To “no longer” is to change directions.
To “no longer” is to excitedly wander in new lands.
To “no longer” is to discover renewed strength.
To “no longer” is to rest a matter.
To “no longer” is to stop the course.
To “no longer” is to choose a new way.
I enjoy people and relationships, but the truth is, I’m an introvert. There’s nothing wrong with me or the people I enjoy, but I must achieve a balance in order to be restored into the better, relaxed version of myself. So, even though it’s hard to carve out, I find a moment to spend some time alone. I think, I breathe, I pray, I veg.
And afterwards, like a small child after a nap, I metamorpho-size into a more relaxed version of myself, and then, I can then give of myself to others.
Our purpose as humans (in my humble, albeit introverted opinion) is to give of ourselves to others. Day by day, we flit by in the lives of others, a small interruption into the daily routines of others and we have a choice. We can be a warm, loving, compassionate person or we can be the opposite, bitchy, critical, angry, or bitter. (among other things).
Though I have bad days, I (try) to choose the former because, I’ve seen what happens afterwards… lines on a face smooth out, the downward pull on the mouth straightens, even at times, lips lift and smile. The light in the eyes (no matter the age) ignite. And these small observances create in me hope and possibility and even a bit of optimism.
Try this, be observant. You can see it happen if you’re looking. Choose to give your best self to others. Let me know how it goes.
This post will be a collection of random thoughts as I move to keep up with the rapidly changing dates on the calendar.
I believe the time is moving quicker than in the past and so each day, I wake up and remind myself that I’m not on vacation, even on days off. There is plenty of work to do each and every day and I’m grateful for it. There are many people who would be grateful to work or to have a family or to have two good legs to walk on. I have all this and more. I have been given much in my life and I
don’t try not to take it for granted.
Next, I’m saying this next thing about myself, but I believe it to be true for most people. I’m not created to be any one thing. In this life I’m myself and have had the opportunity to experience and work on many things. Though I believe it’s best to focus on a gift, talent or knack to be the best at it, I don’t believe that a person has to only experience life doing the “one-thing”. I’m happy to say I’m experiencing life as a wife, mother, teacher, writer, artist, retail worker, etc.
As I move through life in the many roles/jobs I’ve been given, I consider the people who have been placed in my path. I consider what I may have to offer/give to the people around me and sometimes bigger, I consider what they may have to offer, teach, show, and challenge me with.
Though there is wisdom in holding your tongue and keeping your emotions in check (and I am challenged with this), I often wonder about all the things that other people hold back, the wisdom they’ve gained, the stories they hold, the lies they tell, the hopes they struggle to hold onto, the joy they’ve lost, the pain they carry.
Today, I’ve had some time to help, to ponder, to nurture, to cook, to write, to work and to face. It’s been a great day.
With the recent tragic events of late, I find myself with very few words to share these days. I would like to be the voice of encouragement, but I do that better with pictures. I feel the need for a National Day or weeks of mourning.
But, just as we begin to put our hands together to pray, another awful thing happens. I don’t know any of the people that have been tragically killed, but I still feel for and think about them and the families they’ve left behind and the time. May God have mercy on them and us all.
I don’t care to vent it out because it takes too much energy out of me and I need to keep some for our upcoming move. I’ll need it.
But, it has been one of those days.
I don’t want to ask why, because it really doesn’t matter why certain things happen; high and low days will occur.
The challenge, my challenge is to breathe, stay calm and turn.
I have a choice, to turn away from discouragement and to turn towards positivity.
Nothing was lost today that can’t be replaced. There are far worst days that others these days at this very hour are suffering and there are worse things to lose. Therefore, the choice is really easy if I just take a minute to think about it.
I chose to be grateful. There really is no other choice that makes sense for me. I’m grateful for the life I’ve been given, and for the people who grace my life. I may not own the world, but I have love. If not for love, I would surely perish and lose heart.
unashamedly taking up the whole “couch” at the car repair place playing a word game on my phone, feet propped up on the coffee table (that’s what they’re for right?) intermittently looking up at the news. With each story, there came a comment and a few chuckles from the couple sitting across on chairs.
I had noticed them right away as they walked in to the waiting area. She, in a cute pony tail and cap hanging on to the arm of, who at first glance, thought was her father then quickly realized was her husband as I noted how they interacted. I had also taken note that there was something about her face, and then I saw the white cane and realized she was blind as well.
(And really? I still didn’t move off or over on the couch. ) Anyway, I thought them cute and quite a pair as he also struggled as he walked with a pronounced limp and a cane for support. (Later I found out he was a retired firefighter, hence the limp)
After a few stories, I had joined them in chuckling as I heard their remarks and then they introduced themselves and after the usual exchanges, the husband went on to share the story of his blind wife and how she struggled through to survive a horrific accident years prior.
It was earlier in the week that I was already amazed at a news story of several people who had been given whole face transplants. I stared at the before and after pictures in aww at how a human being can still survive without much of their face.
Anyway, that’s what I was thinking as I was looking at this woman’s face. I was also thinking that whoever her surgeon was had done a great job as I had first thought she was a teenager with how she carried herself and how pretty she remained.
But, the most amazing trait this couple exuded was joy, strength and a sense of humor about life. They smiled as they spoke and joked with each other.
They shared most of their story with me before their names were called that their car was ready. I called after them, “You should write a book!” to which he replied, “She did…It’s called Obstacles, Bring ‘Em
After hearing her story and how a law was passed for drivers to secure their load after her accident, I began thinking about why I may have come across this amazing woman.
I had been feeling down and depressed this week. The obstacles of life were beating me down. It wasn’t anything huge or traumatic as this woman had suffered, but, I was down because my attitude had become negative. I felt stuck in my mood.
I know now it was no coincidence that I ran into this couple the day I needed a boost out of my dark cloud. It worked. It’s still raining outside, but I am smiling for now as I think about this woman. I also bought her book and am beginning to read it.
Thank you God, you have your ways. I got the message.