Day off reflections

This post will be a collection of random thoughts as I move to keep up with the rapidly changing dates on the calendar.

I believe the time is moving quicker than in the past and so each day, I wake up and remind myself that I’m not on vacation, even on days off. There is plenty of work to do each and every day and I’m grateful for it. There are many people who would be grateful to work or to have a family or to have two good legs to walk on. I have all this and more. I have been given much in my life and I don’t try not to take it for granted.

Next, I’m saying this next thing about myself, but I believe it to be true for most people. I’m not created to be any one thing. In this life I’m myself and have had the opportunity to experience and work on many things. Though I believe it’s best to focus on a gift, talent or knack to be the best at it, I don’t believe that a person has to only experience life doing the “one-thing”. I’m happy to say I’m experiencing life as a wife, mother, teacher, writer, artist, retail worker, etc.

As I move through life in the many roles/jobs I’ve been given, I consider the people who have been placed in my path. I consider what I may have to offer/give to the people around me and sometimes bigger, I consider what they may have to offer, teach, show, and challenge me with.

Though there is wisdom in holding your tongue and keeping your emotions in check (and I am challenged with this), I often wonder about all the things that other people hold back, the wisdom they’ve gained, the stories they hold, the lies they tell, the hopes they struggle to hold onto, the joy they’ve lost, the pain they carry.

Today, I’ve had some time to help, to ponder, to nurture, to cook, to write, to work and to face. It’s been a great day.

~peace.

 

 

Friday’s “reviews”

I’ve read quite a few books now and learning so much. The main thing I’ve learned from good pieces of literature is not just having a story to tell, but how the story was told. For example, in All The Light We Cannot See, multiple character’s stories are told in the forward and backward traveling through time kind of fashion. It was a challenge to follow, as a reader, but in my opinion, gave the story some mystery as well as anticipation.

I can’t imagine the challenge for the writer, but then again, this is Pulitzer Award winning level. Yeah. I also have enjoyed the learning in reading good books. I enjoy smelling and looking at flowers, but I’ve never studied them.  In The Language of Flowers, I was able to enjoy an inspiring story while also learning about flowers. Even if the story was about the character overcoming a difficult past, the reader is encouraged to open their eyes to the gifts people possess no matter their background.

In the The Martian, even though I’m not a technical geek ( I wish I was!) I could still enjoy how the author used humor to lighten the undeniably terrifying aspect of being left alone on the Planet of Mars. Had it not been for the comedic relief, I might not have been able to read this book. So, humor, sarcasm and well placed cuss words granted realness to a gifted main character.

Now, after reading quite a few books, I might be falling forever into the rabbit hole of literature, never to be found again. Thank you writers for keeping your dreams of telling us great stories. You’re appreciated!

 

Friday’s reflection

Lately, I feel as if a cat not only has my tongue, but the neurons attached to it that lead to the part of the brain where words are formulated! It sucks, too, since I call myself a writer. But, I refuse to call it writer’s block, that sounds so, well, easy or typical. I don’t think that’s true for me. I have plenty of words, opinions and ideas, but, I don’t always sit at my laptop and spew them all out.

I think I’ll just invent a new term. I think what I experience is a sort of  writer’s hibernation phase.

What is W.H.P? (Writer’s Hibernation Phase) Well, it’s when you reach a certain age and the neurons in your brain have to realign themselves due to so much data exposure.

In other words, not all things slow down with age, actually, I believe things neurologically speaking, speed up. But, on the surface, it may appear to slow. But in reality, the older brain is sifting through data at rapid rates trying to sort through the many ideas, concepts, principles, etc. to let go of and which new input to adopt.

How’s that for a theory?  😉

Enjoy the weekend amigos!

~Peace.

What the ?

This will not be pretty, but I’m getting angry. Seriously, I’ve been sitting in front of my keyboard and draft after draft comes without me publishing. Lack of time is not the problem, even though this is true.

I mean, this is freakin’ ridiculous. Enough! But, I’ve dealt with this before, so I know the other is something deeper.

It’s not just in writing that this voice  of doubt persists. It’s in other areas of my work that I hear this and enough is enough. I’m reaching out to higher powers for some help. I’ve had it.

That is all.

~Peace in your struggles.

 

Right

When I write, it’s because I lose faith in the ability for me to communicate, especially to those I love the most.

When I write, it’s because I have time to formulate and compose.

When I write, it’s because I have failed in some way,  I write it’s because I’m trying to redeem myself.

When I write, it’s because I’ve exposed myself with words and I’m trying to cover the truth or trying (in hope) to expose a greater truth.

I write because it reveals truth and it is the truth that will set us free.

I write to be free.

~peace.

So, yeah, our story

So, what I should mention about our story,  Extraordinary Girl,  which I began promoting (finally) is that you can read it for free for a about a week or so. And more importantly, if anyone reads it, we’d really appreciate some constructive criticism. It is a first novel, so we’re prepared for this, so no worries if you have some hard things to say. We can take it! (I think?)

Anyway, in the meantime, I’m reading (attempting to) All the Light We Can Not See by Anthony Dooer and thinking, okay, well now and being humbled as I read. I’m probably going to have to read it again for pleasure because right now, I’m kinda reading it as a writer and as far as style, tone and such, I like what I’m reading and I’m learning.

As a teacher, I say, there’s no better way to learn than to dig in to the meat of what you’re trying to learn. Speaking of, my “day job” of tutoring is calling my name and I need to work on that.

~Peace readers!

 

 

Promoting a story

I wrote a story with my friend. Our story, Extraordinary Girl is a novel about a young woman who finds her way in the world despite her many obstacles.

For whatever reasons, I’ve not promoted it before, but I knew that the time would come for it to be out there where it belongs. (In the hands of readers!) Truly, it was not written for only ourselves to enjoy.

The process of writing a novel, even a short one, is long and tedious.  It reminded me of when I was pregnant with my children. The first stages involved much preparation, excitement and thrill. But like pregnancy, the last stages of writing the book became tiring, heavy and frustrating. Birthing a book involved time, energy and even money to get enough of the kinks out.

And then, after completing the process, and reaching the end of a long race, I learned that the end of one process was really the beginning of another process, in which I wasn’t completely ready. And that process is promoting the work, our work. It is not a process I was familiar with, nor frankly willing to get acquainted with at that moment.

I mean, wasn’t it enough our story was out there, published on Kindle?  And if it was written to be read, and put on a proverbial “shelf”, then it would be found and read. Right? Wrong. And honestly,  I knew that.  But hey, it was out of my hands, at least.

When I read about promoting a story, a piece of my soul immediately rejected the idea. Nope! Not interested in putting our work (hard work) out there to be criticized and rejected.

But now? Well, after months and month of working in other “arenas”, doodling, blogging and such, I’ve finally reached the point where I’m ready to promote. I’m no longer worried about the “public-eye” or ratings or inevitable rejections. All those things are not the measure of truth.

The truth is that what my friend and I did in writing a story together is an accomplishment and a beginning of a dream realized. To become writers. We created a character that we both believed in and birthed her story. We wrote. Yay us!

 

 

 

 

 

The Itch

I’m finally getting to the point of missing writing. I’d been busy doodling for the past month and now I feel my brain itching to begin a new story. I probably need to go over my notes from the class I took to begin the process a bit differently than the other story and hopefully to avoid the mismanagement of the many draftings, but we’ll see. That may be how I operate.

I’m running a tutoring business and staying organized is a challenge. After we move into our new place, I need to find a nook and keep it as a true home office.

That is my short update for today, hope all is well on your end.

~Peace friends.

 

So I was sitting…

unashamedly taking up the whole “couch” at the car repair place playing a word game on my phone, feet propped up on the coffee table (that’s what they’re for right?) intermittently looking up at the news. With each story, there came a comment and a few chuckles from the couple sitting across on chairs.

I had noticed them right away as they walked in to the waiting area. She, in a cute pony tail and cap hanging on to the arm of,  who at first glance, thought was her father then quickly realized was her husband as I noted how they interacted. I had also taken note that there was something about her face, and then I saw the white cane and realized she was blind as well.

(And really? I still didn’t move off or over on the couch. ) Anyway, I thought them cute and quite a pair as he also struggled as he walked with a pronounced limp and a cane for support. (Later I found out he was a retired firefighter, hence the limp)

After a few stories,  I had joined them in chuckling as I heard their remarks and then they introduced themselves and after the usual exchanges, the husband went on to share the story of his blind wife and how she struggled through to survive a horrific accident years prior.

It was earlier in the week that I was already amazed at a news story of several people who had been given whole face transplants. I stared at the before and after pictures in aww at how a human being can still survive without much of their face.

Anyway, that’s what I was thinking as I was looking at this woman’s face. I was also thinking that whoever her surgeon was had done a great job as I had first thought she was a teenager with how she carried herself and how pretty she remained.

But,  the most amazing trait this couple exuded was joy, strength and a sense of humor about life. They smiled as they spoke and joked with each other.

They shared most of their story with me before their names were called that their car was ready. I called after them, “You should write a book!” to which he replied, “She did…It’s called Obstacles, Bring ‘Em

After hearing her story and how a law was passed for drivers to secure their load after her accident, I began thinking about why I may have come across this amazing woman.

I had been feeling down and depressed this week. The obstacles of life were beating me down. It wasn’t anything huge or traumatic as this woman had suffered,  but, I was down because my attitude had become negative. I felt stuck in my mood.

I know now it was no coincidence that I ran into this couple the day I needed a boost out of my dark cloud. It worked. It’s still raining outside, but I am smiling for now as I think about this woman. I also bought her book and am beginning to read it.

Thank you God, you have your ways. I got the message.

~Peace friends

 

 

Tuesday evening rant…

So, I apologize if what comes out is too “Eh…” I’m only human and humans can’t naturally say 🙂 all the time, it’s impossible!

SO, this is my attempt to purge out of me the occasional negativity which plagues me during winter months. Does it happen to you? The grey skies, the monotony of the daily grind, the tiresome chores of laundry, cooking, grocery shopping and the like?

I’m venting this out into the world of the internet, no I’m screaming it! Can’t you hear me? OH…I forgot, I would have to type in all caps, but because of my introverted shy nature, I feel rude when I type in all caps, so I’ll just rant in lower case font. It’s enough for now.

Part of the reason for my rant is that I have to move and I don’t want to. Well, maybe it’s more that I’m just not ready to. I’ve done it so many times in my life that it’s lost it’s romanticism. All it means now is getting a new address, learning new street names, and ripping open boxes of “prized” stuff.

I’m tired, but I guess it must be done. Is there a go fund me of sorts for getting others to move me? If so, let me know and I’ll look into it.

Wow, all those letters, fonts, words and sentences for a rant. Thanks for allowing me the pleasure.

~peace friends.