I’m an ostrich

Yeah, I’m not a musician, but some mornings I wake up hearing the best guitar solo, seriously, but with no instrumental talent to let it out. I guess I’m “inner-expressing”. It seems a much safer avenue then letting it out which at times I choose to do and it ain’t pretty, raw emotion rarely is. It‘s like having a lion inside my inner lamb that needs to roar and my inner controls just are tired of holding onto it, so I let it go. Roar! and all too quickly following the roar is a paw going right to my mouth which then transforms into like a chicken claw (can’t think of the animal lingo) and I become an Ostrich ready to stick my head in the sand. Do ostriches really do that? Ostriches are weird. I don’t even know if I’m spelling it right, but too early to check. Maybe I’m an ostrich because only recently I saw a video comparing a sound they make to a lion.

Ok, enough about animals I don’t know much about. I’m writing because I woke up early and I have a busy day ahead of me and I just want time to click the keyboard in peace. I may not be able to fly my fingers on guitar strings, but I can type, and fast! Okay, not like Elaine-fast 😉

What woke me up? A dream I was having. In it I was pulling up a chair and talking to my mother and I was enjoying it. The older I get, the more I get her, the more I understand her and it, the roar. She needed to roar at times, she needed us to know it was there and now I understand why.

~Roar! (then go stick your head in the sand)

 

 

Monday

So, last thing on the bug thing: I did find his corpse, so he was all dead.

Now, moving on from that to other (#random) topics. Seattle has become a mixture of clouds, rain and gorgeous sunny days. The colors of fall are mostly orange. As I drive across the Aurora bridge to work, I think about where I could perch myself to get a shot of the trees and when?? I have a “C” in picture taking lately, which causes my photo blog to become stagnant. I need a pic taking goal.

I’ve also had many thoughts about Colorado recently. If you’ve lived there you would understand. The leaves of an Aspen tree become so vibrant during Autumn. And it made me fall in love with fall 😉

I must eat breakfast…that is all for now.

~Peace amigos.

 

 

 

It started with a bug, Pt. 2

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This is part 2 of a 2 part post. Read yesterday’s if you want to be clued in, but basically I lost a bug and now I FOUND HIM!

I’m ashamed about this part, but I was actually late to an appointment this morning because after I found the bug, I had to photograph him so I could do a follow up post! (And also to prove to myself that I wasn’t crazy or had digested a bug)

The bad news is, I found him on my side of the bed and it made me wonder…had the bug been on me in the middle of the night? (EWW, and Ugh)

But, it doesn’t matter and as I neared to him to take his picture (which was terribly out of focus), he puffed himself up (to scare me) and it worked!

I took off to the kitchen to find some chemicals to kill the bug (not thinking about the wood floors) and I found the Clorox bleach all-purpose cleaner. I ran back to my room and sprayed him. I guess he was mostly dead because he was still not moving and was barely able to move away from the deadly foam.

It was as he made his slow escape,  I thought about the bleach on the wood floors.

Not wishing to scoot the bug with anything, but needing to clean up the chemicals, I waited with a hand towel and as the bug slowly made his death march, tipped on it’s back and breathed it’s last. I quickly wiped up the Clorox narrowly missing touching the bug with the towel, and then quickly left for my appointment.

I have yet to check if his corpse is where I had left it, if it’s not, then there will be a part 3. If it’s still there, thank you for staying with me through my bug phobia finale.

~Peace (we’ll see)

 

It started with a bug

I haven’t slept very well for a while. I keep waking up at odd hours and one night when I woke up, I reached for my phone and started surfing the web and heard a buzz near my ear. Not wanting to panic or wake others, I shook my hair out and walked quickly to the bathroom to find the bug. I had spotted that ugly black bug earlier in the day and forgotten about it, but with the attraction to the light of my phone, it let me know that it still lived.

I was confused and having de ja vu. This bug was sizable and though I’ve experienced a spider or two here in Seattle, bugs were pretty much off the radar. Had I brought this bug here from a recent trip to Texas? Where had this bug come from??

The next evening, knowing the buzzing bug still lived, I delayed going to bed. I didn’t care to share my bedroom with an ugly bug. I remembered it’s attraction to the light, and so I experimented. I left lights on outside my bedroom hoping to draw the bug out. I waited until a little after midnight and with heavy eye-lids, finally, I decided (cleverly I thought) to place a nightlight strategically close to the window (where I saw it last), but far from my side of the bed and then I went reluctantly to bed.

I struggled to fall asleep “tenting” a sheet around my head, not wishing to have a buzz near my ear or face. I finally fell asleep convincing myself that the bug would be more attracted to the night-light than my face.

The next day, after waking up, and thinking my plan succeeded, I walked to the bathroom peering around both hoping and dreading to see the bug. But, it wasn’t there. It was early, and still dark outside, so I returned to bed and dove back under the covers and tried unsuccessfully to go back to sleep. So, I tented the sheet around me, pulled out my phone, dimmed the screen and read until I got sleepy again hoping not to hear a bug buzz near me. I finally fell asleep again.

An hour or so later, I woke up with a sore head and not feeling rested. I went to work foggy and my stomach starting to ache.

I stayed at work feeling yuck and then went home gratefully. When I got home, I walked into my bedroom pulling and ruffling the drapes, hoping to see (and not see) the dreaded bug. It wasn’t there?! And that’s when I decided that I must’ve eaten it. I have no proof of it’s prior existence nor do I have proof that I ate it (except my stomach issues), so I concluded and accepted that I must’ve digested the thing. Ugh.

And then, (to make matters worse!) as I’m sitting here typing this bug story, I researched the bug I saw and it matched something called a kissing bug!!! Holy *&$#@! This kind of bug sucks human blood after the victim is sound asleep. Yuck.

Later in the day, I took a nap (in the living room) because I still had a headache and face ache and it all started with my encounter with a stalking bug!

The only thing keeping me from completely not wanting to go to my bedroom tonight is that I still have not found the bug and I have no proof of a bite like the woman in the story, so, that is why I believed that I ate it. UGH. So, at least, the bug is gone.

~sorry, no peace from me today. 😦

 

 

No Longer

To “no longer” is to linger no more.

To “no longer” is to reboot.

To “no longer” is to act boldly on a new idea.

To “no longer” is to seek and pursue a more peaceful way.

To “no longer” manages chronic pain.

To “no longer” is to change directions.

To “no longer” is to excitedly wander in new lands.

To “no longer” is to discover renewed strength.

To “no longer” is to rest a matter.

To “no longer” is to stop the course.

To “no longer” is to choose a new way.

 

October’s Thoughts

I’m sorry, but if time doesn’t fly, then whatever it is that it’s doing is undoubtedly equivalent to some sort of tangible (or intangible!) movement. The last time I posted on here is September, and a whole month has gone by. I have not even bought a freakin’ pumpkin’ and all the ornaments are hung up in the stores!

Is this the phenomenon of aging? Or are young people experiencing this as well?

It doesn’t matter, the update is as follows:

  1. I appreciate the time I’m given on earth. My life is much easier than many millions of people. I may not be rich (depending of some people’s definition), but I’m sure as hell privileged and I’m quite aware of it and grateful.
  2. I love learning. I love learning about people. I love learning about people and their various experiences. I love learning about people, their culture and their various food experiences.
  3. This week I’ve learned what “soldiers” are in terms of an English dish. It’s when you put half a soft boiled egg into an elegant egg cup, (making sure there’s runny yolk) and then putting at least 6 skinny slices of toast in it for dipping. (Please feel free to correct me!)
  4. Motivation is a curious thing. In my opinion, it appeals to us (humans) to have desirable choices offered especially when faced with the inevitable choices we encounter daily in having to work. (Not sure that makes sense even to me)
  5. I enjoy discovering human’s fallibility. (Just me?)
  6. I have a rebellious streak and I push limits of authority.
  7. I like fairness.

~That’s all, it’s late. Goodnight.

Tutoring

If I’ve not mentioned it recently, I’ve been tutoring elementary students in reading since January of this year. I’ve been slowly trying to increase the number of student’s that I tutor without getting overwhelmed myself.

It’s September and school is in session and so, it begins.

Though the first few weeks, (even longer for younger students) are mostly about learning routines, the reading and homework soon begins and if you’re a parent of a student who struggles, then all the everyday stresses are compounded by the stress of your struggling student trying to keep up with his peers on top of all the “regular” stress of a new school year.

Don’t hesitate to ask for help. A student who struggles with reading needs intervention from family, but also from professionals. Reading is the key to mastering all subjects. The more help and attention a student receives, the better.

Progress is attainable. I’ve seen it.

https://brendamiscblog.wordpress.com/2016/09/28/progressing-with-reading/

Blooming artist

Today I want to share my daughter’s website, Slowbloom. I’m excited to see her take her art to a new level, sharing and selling. If you see something, better snatch it up!

Already, she’s experiencing success and she only just began. This is one of my faves: My interpretation is besties. Here’s a recent photo of her. She’s a beauty! One in a million girl ❤

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Take Me Away

I wrote this with those in mind whose lives have recently (and not so recently) been invaded by the terrible choices that other humans make. I can’t understand, nor have I lived this terror myself. But, I’m realizing that this could be my life. It could be anyone’s life, unfortunately. But today, I can only imagine the pain, the tears. But I do care and think about the unimaginable that has become another’s life.

With still heavy lids, I woke up to a strange and terrible rumble, the shattering of glass, the smell of death and screams.

It invaded my dream of sandy beaches and the noise of a children’s laughter.

The terror of today took my life.

Took the life I had known. The life I had grown to love,

My life filled with love, with peace, the smell, the taste, the sounds of home.

That was my life, that was our life, that was our home.

Many, many days before, so long ago, so long ago…so long.

So… long… ago.

And now, I run, I hide, I fear not knowing where to go or where to sleep.

Where do I go, oh where do I go, where do I go, where should we go?

And finally I stop, I only stop because my feet can’t go anymore. I fall exhausted to the

ground. I rest because I have to. I try to.

I sleep. But, my mind forgot how to rest,  I recycle the images I can’t deal with during the day.

I awake trembling, searching, but groggy with sleep.

I succumb again…I sleep for a

moment.

Then, it begins again, the noise invades.

This is my life. A life with no home.

When I find I can’t run anymore, or sleep.

I find a corner and I weep.

I weep as a unconsolable child heaving and hugging myself into an ever smaller person.

I desire to disappear, to hide from my reality.

Because this is not life, this is not home, I have no peace, I have no hope.

Help, help, help me from this hell.

Take me away from here. Please take me away far from here. Take me, take me away, I pray take me away, take me away, take me away…from here.

My tears stop in my trembling hand, I hear a whisper, ” I’m here. I’m sorry.”

I look up I cry and I scream, “Why….,” I’m filled with anger…”Why?!…why?!.”

I hear nothing, but silence. It’s strange at first, I look around…wait, but nothing,

For the moment. And then…

The wind moves the trees, and the raindrops begin, quietly…steady..and then a deluge.

The thunder crashes and the earth vibrates with the thunder. It repeats again and again.

I have no fear. The storm reverberates.

And I know, he sees, he feels, he hears, he knows.

I see my trembling hand taken, I feel my hair caressed, I sense my face being touched and I hear…

“I’ll take you away, from here, from here, I’ll take you away from here, I’ll take you. I’ll take you, I’ll take you away, away,  away, take you away…take you from here, far away from here. Away from here.

I’ll take you away. I’ll take you away….away from here.

The thunder rumbles, the wind calms, the rain steadies. The storm is over. For the moment. A moment. Just a moment.

For just a moment…

He took me away, away from here. From the hell down here. From all the pain down here, In my life… right here. He took me, he took me, he took me and shook me awake, he took me away.

From here.

 

 

 

 

 

Blogging

So, I saw a little symbol on my blog that indicated that I’ve been active on WordPress for 6 years! Really?!  It was hard to believe! I want to be proud of that, but with my lack of writing activity lately, I feel a bit undeserving of the trophy icon. Regardless, I want to thank any supporters (likes and followers) that I’ve had on this and my other site Enjoy in those 6 years.

Although it’s very hard to connect with each and every follower and liker, I wanted to mention that before I like and follow sites, I do go out and take a peek at what the site is about and if I jibe with it, then I reciprocate the like.

On another note, recently, I’ve followed quite a few fashion/beauty websites that I admire and I don’t necessarily have anything in common with, but I believe in what they’re doing and how they’re sharing their fashion/ beauty knowledge (of which I have none) and how they positively present their face and body.

Now, as for me and my writing goals, well, let’s just say I’ve not given up, and that I’ve been mostly busy, but keeping the “head-journal” going as I go about with the other things I do. I read somewhere that some people actually “write” a novel in their head long before typing out the words on the keyboard. I think I’m experiencing that kind of data collecting lately. It’s fun and freeing.

It’s late, so thanks again for stopping in. Have a good rest of your week.

~Peace.