I really don’t understand why a subconjuctival hemmorage can spark my writing juices? What is a subconjuctival hemmorage you ask? Basically, it’s when a blood vessel bursts in the eye. Nothing serious thankfully.
Last Sunday, is when this crisis began, with the outer corner of my right eye the color of hot sauce. The initial discovery was frightening, but in the next couple, even more frightening. This was no joke!
Each day, I woke up thinking it would start to fade, but each day I woke up and startled myself at what I saw in the mirror. I looked like a zombie! I finally went to see the eye doctor on day 5 and although I’m grateful this wasn’t an infection, he told me I would only have to put up with the red eye for another week. Another week!
I decided staying home alone in my bedroom away from my roommates was the best solution until the isolation got to me, I felt like I did when I had covid. It was NOT a good feeling.
Here I am on day 6 and 99.5 % of my eye is still red, but it’s starting to feel less raw, at least. And I did finally go out…wearing sunglasses, lol.
I don’t know why it took a sort of crisis, a “forced” Friday evening home for me to stop the busyness cycle? If I say I enjoy writing, why isn’t it part of my daily life more? Why don’t I fill out a day on my calendar for it or even an hour a week to write? Why a red-eye to spark the flame?
Anyway, I hope all y’all clear-eyed people are doing well and I also hope that you are doing the something that feeds your soul. Plan for it. Do it. Don’t let it take a subconjuctival hemmorage or other minor crisis to spark the juice. Be better than me!
Today, I’m trying to embrace the fact that I woke up and got up at a painful 6 a.m and took some time to just be. I needed it and I needed to write or at least feel like I’m writing. 😉
I don’t often wish this happened more often because I enjoy sleep, but the quiet I seem to need lately happens at these awful times. The early morning sounds, the smell of the plants wafting into the windows, the faraway sound of the highway (really?), and the birds chirping (minus loud crows).
It’s what my soul craves.
This morning, I’m also thinking about how much I enjoy having grown kids. It’s exciting to watch them become young adults and make their way in the world. There’s no school supply shopping, no thoughts of making lunches nor jumping quickly into vehicles and joining the procession of hurrying vehicles.
Thinking about those days makes me tired, but I admit, there are parts of that season I miss also.
So, if you run into me and wonder what I’ve been doing lately, I’m just focusing time and energy into my marriage, my grown kids and working. Though I have creativity in my being, participating in it fluctuates, but it’s okay, I’ve learned by now, creativity comes in waves and I don’t need to stress that I’ve lost who I am or that I’ve betrayed my soul.
Was it last Friday I posted? Wow, these days are literally just flying off the calendar at record speed. The back to school stuff is only the beginning and I’m bracing myself for the deluge of what follows.
Today, I want to write something that I enjoy about writing. I enjoy creating make believe worlds. It makes sense why I loved (as a kid) Felix the Cat and his magic bag of tricks. He could make anything! Well, I don’t have a magic bag of tricks, but I have the knack for imagination. All I have to do is think of things outside of their norm among other things. Later, I use my fingers (my magic wands 😉 and wala! It’s a sort of grown up make-believe game.
And here’s an interesting happening: I recently got a part-time job and though it requires quite a bit of concentration, there are brief periods of stagnant time in which I play mind-make-believe. This kind of game usually happens while I do chores, cook, laundry and such, but now also at this job.
A writer’s everyday experience is not wasted time. Basically, it’s hands-on research.
That’s it for now.
As far as writing goals…well, let’s just say I’ve been like that winter tree that hasn’t given indication (yet) that it’s, in fact, not dead, but lying dormant. And I’d like to point out that despite what I’ve been posting on my other blog, I’m also not planning a new career as a “doodle-ist“, but that’s what I’ve been doing on my off time is doodling. I think what’s happening each time I doodle is that I’m resting up part of my brain, while igniting the fire in that other part of my brain which is lying dormant for now. That’s my theory anyway.
Needless to say, I’ve nothing to report about any new writing or novel ideas. Nothing. But, the itch to write has increased and that is all I’ve noticed. So, rather than rid of it with a quick “scratching”, I’m sort of letting it build until I can’t stand it anymore. I’m hoping it will lead to a creative “un-loading” of sorts. Like a cascading falls after a heavy rain. That’s what I’m hoping for, anyway.
So, I apologize if what comes out is too “Eh…” I’m only human and humans can’t naturally say 🙂 all the time, it’s impossible!
SO, this is my attempt to purge out of me the occasional negativity which plagues me during winter months. Does it happen to you? The grey skies, the monotony of the daily grind, the tiresome chores of laundry, cooking, grocery shopping and the like?
I’m venting this out into the world of the internet, no I’m screaming it! Can’t you hear me? OH…I forgot, I would have to type in all caps, but because of my introverted shy nature, I feel rude when I type in all caps, so I’ll just rant in lower case font. It’s enough for now.
Part of the reason for my rant is that I have to move and I don’t want to. Well, maybe it’s more that I’m just not ready to. I’ve done it so many times in my life that it’s lost it’s romanticism. All it means now is getting a new address, learning new street names, and ripping open boxes of “prized” stuff.
I’m tired, but I guess it must be done. Is there a go fund me of sorts for getting others to move me? If so, let me know and I’ll look into it.
Wow, all those letters, fonts, words and sentences for a rant. Thanks for allowing me the pleasure.
Here it is Monday again and I noticed that my last post was a poem. Today, I’m just tapping the keyboard and seeing what comes out.
I do want to report that I finished my story and put it on kindle, but I haven’t yet promoted it.
I will promote it after a few select people read it first, but it’s up and complete, and now I can move forward to the next idea. I’m excited to work on it. At the moment I’m brainstorming with my creative family and playing around with ideas.
I must admit, it’s nice to have fresh thoughts.
Hello blog, I know it’s been a while, but I’m still here, doing this and that, writing here and there and other stuff. I wanted to document some thoughts:
One, I’m learning and processing so much from the Creative Writing class lately, that I could be found either doing chores like scrubbing tubs or laundry or sitting on my couch, drinking tea, drooling, and staring into space. All of which have something to do with processing new all this new information.
There are multiple aha moments and enlightenments that I’ve had and wish to apply to the story I’m writing. I’d began the class, feeling proud to come into it with a nearly completed draft.
And now? I’ve been humbled and the draft has been significantly transformed. But, that’s okay, I want to write something good. I want my efforts to lead me in a producing a work that is more creatively readable.
That is all.
~Peace to all.
Soooo, the interesting things of late…
I’ve recently discovered that I’m very much the fan of humorous and fashion blogs alike. I read them, skim them, and I come away with a smile on my face, so thank you to recent followers who have such blogs. I need them and so do many others. Keep at it!
Next, update on the writing class…pretty much, the teacher has challenged me so much, that I’m secretly trying to write a whole other story in my head because I’m beginning to dislike the story that I’m almost finished with, no joke!
However, she warns of such a phase and to push through it. Great, (I think) Of course, finish what you start. And I will….(I think)
That’s the update for now.
So, the post that was supposedly bubbling up inside me never made it out. Maybe it went out the other end! 😉 It’s Monday and interestingly enough I’m motivated to write on my novel, I’m on Chapter 14. I’ve been in kind of a roll with it, so I’m gonna keep this post short.
Just a tidbit of what I’ve learned (writing-wise):
- It was truly a good thing to have not written on my story for a while. Now that I’m back to it, I see so many disjointed thoughts, unfinished scenes and of course, typos and grammar errors.
- Even if I’m doing a fairly good job of re-knitting the story, I’ve pretty much decided that after this second draft run through that other interested people need to get involved. They will have even fresher eyes and can give constructive feedback and can help the forward motion continue.
- There are many distractions from job searches, world news, Facebook posts, etc. all vying for my attention and it’s a challenge to remain focused.
- You have to learn to continue living life as a social being if you’re gonna be any good at writing a novel which is supposed to be about relationships. (In my story)
For the sake of this not being an actual journal, I’ll keep things light and remember the purpose is just to write. Plain write. I’ve been delinquent, yes, but I’ve also been walking about, doing chores and thinking about, reflecting on, mourning, and enjoying life.
It’s unfortunate that I’ve gotten a bit hooked on watching Grey’s Anatomy. But I’ve kept the madness to 2 episodes a day. So far, the show mostly highlights how people are people and how they’ll disappoint you. At 48, I’ve learned that lesson by now, but I’ve also learned to stay open to the experience that people can surprise you and wow you, and leave you with your mouth hanging open at their passions, love, talent, empathy, etc. So, I watch for these things among the more prevalent yuck.
I traveled to Montana recently and realized that there are acres and acres of beautiful land out there, all for the feet to trample on, eyes to gaze at and photographic equipment to focus on it. But, after living in Seattle for three years, it can’t compete.
I won’t go into all the beauty of Seattle, but I’m grateful to have landed here and though it’s been difficult socially, I’m content to make a home out of it.