Take Me Away

I wrote this with those in mind whose lives have recently (and not so recently) been invaded by the terrible choices that other humans make. I can’t understand, nor have I lived this terror myself. But, I’m realizing that this could be my life. It could be anyone’s life, unfortunately. But today, I can only imagine the pain, the tears. But I do care and think about the unimaginable that has become another’s life.

With still heavy lids, I woke up to a strange and terrible rumble, the shattering of glass, the smell of death and screams.

It invaded my dream of sandy beaches and the noise of a children’s laughter.

The terror of today took my life.

Took the life I had known. The life I had grown to love,

My life filled with love, with peace, the smell, the taste, the sounds of home.

That was my life, that was our life, that was our home.

Many, many days before, so long ago, so long ago…so long.

So… long… ago.

And now, I run, I hide, I fear not knowing where to go or where to sleep.

Where do I go, oh where do I go, where do I go, where should we go?

And finally I stop, I only stop because my feet can’t go anymore. I fall exhausted to the

ground. I rest because I have to. I try to.

I sleep. But, my mind forgot how to rest,  I recycle the images I can’t deal with during the day.

I awake trembling, searching, but groggy with sleep.

I succumb again…I sleep for a

moment.

Then, it begins again, the noise invades.

This is my life. A life with no home.

When I find I can’t run anymore, or sleep.

I find a corner and I weep.

I weep as a unconsolable child heaving and hugging myself into an ever smaller person.

I desire to disappear, to hide from my reality.

Because this is not life, this is not home, I have no peace, I have no hope.

Help, help, help me from this hell.

Take me away from here. Please take me away far from here. Take me, take me away, I pray take me away, take me away, take me away…from here.

My tears stop in my trembling hand, I hear a whisper, ” I’m here. I’m sorry.”

I look up I cry and I scream, “Why….,” I’m filled with anger…”Why?!…why?!.”

I hear nothing, but silence. It’s strange at first, I look around…wait, but nothing,

For the moment. And then…

The wind moves the trees, and the raindrops begin, quietly…steady..and then a deluge.

The thunder crashes and the earth vibrates with the thunder. It repeats again and again.

I have no fear. The storm reverberates.

And I know, he sees, he feels, he hears, he knows.

I see my trembling hand taken, I feel my hair caressed, I sense my face being touched and I hear…

“I’ll take you away, from here, from here, I’ll take you away from here, I’ll take you. I’ll take you, I’ll take you away, away,  away, take you away…take you from here, far away from here. Away from here.

I’ll take you away. I’ll take you away….away from here.

The thunder rumbles, the wind calms, the rain steadies. The storm is over. For the moment. A moment. Just a moment.

For just a moment…

He took me away, away from here. From the hell down here. From all the pain down here, In my life… right here. He took me, he took me, he took me and shook me awake, he took me away.

From here.

 

 

 

 

 

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Friday thoughts

Many thoughts swirling around and it’s Friday, a somber Friday. A 9-11 Friday. Where was I? I was in my suburbia home in Texas with my three small children gathered around the television just as many that day were. I had just listened to a message from my husband that he’d left early on the answer machine. He was in Florida on a business trip. His voice and breathing sounded strained, and fearful and it got my heart racing.

I turned on the television and was watching with my children trying to put together what my husband said in the message with what I was viewing live on television. The scene was playing again and again and the towers were smoking, but still standing. I’m sure my children had begun playing, but I could see they were also noting the distress in my countenance.

I stayed watching, listening to the reports and thinking, “Oh my, this is war!” and just as I was thinking a thought like this, I saw on the television as the first tower fell and I couldn’t believe it. It came down in waves and I was horrified thinking of all the people who were in it, around it and under it. I looked at the innocent faces of my young children and they were looking at me putting my hand to my chest and shaking my head. I decided reluctantly to turn it off at that moment. They like me had just witnessed a horrific, deadly scene.

I wanted to keep watching because I wondered what else might happen and what other building might be struck, and to make sure we were safe, but I couldn’t subject my children to this reality anymore. I wanted them to keep playing and to laugh and smile to help keep the normalcy in our home.

Sometime that day, my husband would call back and tell me that it would be days before I saw him because he would not be flying, but instead car pooling his way back to Texas with his co-workers. There would be no flying for a while. I was both thankful to hear his voice and grateful that we were alive when so many had lost their lives, but also I just wanted to be near him and to be held by him so that I could fall apart.

My thoughts and prayers are with all those involved. No, we didn’t forget.

~Peace.