writing – I Write

Red-eye spark…

I really don’t understand why a subconjuctival hemmorage can spark my writing juices? What is a subconjuctival hemmorage you ask? Basically, it’s when a blood vessel bursts in the eye. Nothing serious thankfully.

Last Sunday, is when this crisis began, with the outer corner of my right eye the color of hot sauce. The initial discovery was frightening, but in the next couple, even more frightening. This was no joke!

Each day, I woke up thinking it would start to fade, but each day I woke up and startled myself at what I saw in the mirror. I looked like a zombie! I finally went to see the eye doctor on day 5 and although I’m grateful this wasn’t an infection, he told me I would only have to put up with the red eye for another week. Another week!

I decided staying home alone in my bedroom away from my roommates was the best solution until the isolation got to me, I felt like I did when I had covid. It was NOT a good feeling.

Here I am on day 6 and 99.5 % of my eye is still red, but it’s starting to feel less raw, at least. And I did finally go out…wearing sunglasses, lol.

I don’t know why it took a sort of crisis, a “forced” Friday evening home for me to stop the busyness cycle? If I say I enjoy writing, why isn’t it part of my daily life more? Why don’t I fill out a day on my calendar for it or even an hour a week to write? Why a red-eye to spark the flame?

*sigh

Anyway, I hope all y’all clear-eyed people are doing well and I also hope that you are doing the something that feeds your soul. Plan for it. Do it. Don’t let it take a subconjuctival hemmorage or other minor crisis to spark the juice. Be better than me!

Be you.

Cocoa Bombs

Those who know me understand that I love chocolate to a possibly dysfunctional level.

I own that. I know chocolate isn’t the answer to life’s big problems, but neither are a lot of other things in the world.

I’m just enjoying what the dark yummy substance adds to my life.

This post is not meant in any way to give hints for gift giving, necessarily, but more as an encouragement to enjoy some of the good things in life!

Another reason for this post is to share an imperfect outcome of a chocolate diy , I made cocoa bombs! They came out looking imperfect, but it was fun making them and looks don’t matter, they tasted great!

The “Itsy-bitsy ” Spider

I neither like insects nor hate them. I just accept that I have to live with them especially since I live in Texas currently.

Mind you, in its infancy, I’ve already made it angry or afraid for its life by batting at it which with a spider is not necessarily the best idea because then it hides….and grows!

What I won’t accept is that there is a tiny spider that currently resides in my car. It was so tiny a few days ago that I needed my readers to see that it was actually a spider. Today, I can clearly see it without using my glasses, ugh, so it’s developing, growing into what some day could be a larger one!

So, I’ve been thinking about what to do. Because I’m not a killer of life if there’s another way to deal with it, which I haven’t thought of, so unless someone has an idea, I’m taking my vehicle to the dealership where they will clean the interior and I hope it gets sucked into its next life!

If I don’t act now, I will have a bigger problem on my hands and I just can’t.

It started with a bug

I haven’t slept very well for a while. I keep waking up at odd hours and one night when I woke up, I reached for my phone and started surfing the web and heard a buzz near my ear. Not wanting to panic or wake others, I shook my hair out and walked quickly to the bathroom to find the bug. I had spotted that ugly black bug earlier in the day and forgotten about it, but with the attraction to the light of my phone, it let me know that it still lived.

I was confused and having de ja vu. This bug was sizable and though I’ve experienced a spider or two here in Seattle, bugs were pretty much off the radar. Had I brought this bug here from a recent trip to Texas? Where had this bug come from??

The next evening, knowing the buzzing bug still lived, I delayed going to bed. I didn’t care to share my bedroom with an ugly bug. I remembered it’s attraction to the light, and so I experimented. I left lights on outside my bedroom hoping to draw the bug out. I waited until a little after midnight and with heavy eye-lids, finally, I decided (cleverly I thought) to place a nightlight strategically close to the window (where I saw it last), but far from my side of the bed and then I went reluctantly to bed.

I struggled to fall asleep “tenting” a sheet around my head, not wishing to have a buzz near my ear or face. I finally fell asleep convincing myself that the bug would be more attracted to the night-light than my face.

The next day, after waking up, and thinking my plan succeeded, I walked to the bathroom peering around both hoping and dreading to see the bug. But, it wasn’t there. It was early, and still dark outside, so I returned to bed and dove back under the covers and tried unsuccessfully to go back to sleep. So, I tented the sheet around me, pulled out my phone, dimmed the screen and read until I got sleepy again hoping not to hear a bug buzz near me. I finally fell asleep again.

An hour or so later, I woke up with a sore head and not feeling rested. I went to work foggy and my stomach starting to ache.

I stayed at work feeling yuck and then went home gratefully. When I got home, I walked into my bedroom pulling and ruffling the drapes, hoping to see (and not see) the dreaded bug. It wasn’t there?! And that’s when I decided that I must’ve eaten it. I have no proof of it’s prior existence nor do I have proof that I ate it (except my stomach issues), so I concluded and accepted that I must’ve digested the thing. Ugh.

And then, (to make matters worse!) as I’m sitting here typing this bug story, I researched the bug I saw and it matched something called a kissing bug!!! Holy *&$#@! This kind of bug sucks human blood after the victim is sound asleep. Yuck.

Later in the day, I took a nap (in the living room) because I still had a headache and face ache and it all started with my encounter with a stalking bug!

The only thing keeping me from completely not wanting to go to my bedroom tonight is that I still have not found the bug and I have no proof of a bite like the woman in the story, so, that is why I believed that I ate it. UGH. So, at least, the bug is gone.

~sorry, no peace from me today. 😦

Peace, restore, give

I enjoy people and relationships, but the truth is, I’m an introvert. There’s nothing wrong with me or the people I enjoy, but I must achieve a balance in order to be restored into the better, relaxed version of myself. So, even though it’s hard to carve out, I find a moment to spend some time alone. I think, I breathe, I pray, I veg.

And afterwards, like a small child after a nap, I metamorpho-size into a more relaxed version of myself, and then, I can then give of myself to others.

Our purpose as humans (in my humble, albeit introverted opinion) is to give of ourselves to others. Day by day, we flit by in the lives of others, a small interruption into the daily routines of others and we have a choice. We can be a warm, loving, compassionate person or we can be the opposite, bitchy, critical, angry, or bitter. (among other things).

Though I have bad days, I (try) to choose the former because, I’ve seen what happens afterwards… lines on a face smooth out, the downward pull on the mouth straightens, even at times, lips lift and smile. The light in the eyes (no matter the age) ignite. And these small observances create in me hope and possibility and even a bit of optimism.

Try this, be observant. You can see it happen if you’re looking. Choose to give your best self to others. Let me know how it goes.

~True Peace

End of summer

Today, I’m trying to embrace the fact that I woke up and got up at a painful 6 a.m and took some time to just be. I needed it and I needed to write or at least feel like I’m writing. 😉

I don’t often wish this happened more often because I enjoy sleep, but the quiet I seem to need lately happens at these awful times. The early morning sounds, the smell of the plants wafting into the windows, the faraway sound of the highway (really?), and the birds chirping (minus loud crows).

It’s what my soul craves.

This morning, I’m also thinking about how much I enjoy having grown kids. It’s exciting to watch them become young adults and make their way in the world. There’s no school supply shopping, no thoughts of making lunches nor jumping quickly into vehicles and joining the procession of hurrying vehicles.

Thinking about those days makes me tired, but I admit, there are parts of that season I miss also.

So, if you run into me and wonder what I’ve been doing lately, I’m just focusing time and energy into my marriage, my grown kids and working. Though I have creativity in my being, participating in it fluctuates, but it’s okay, I’ve learned by now, creativity comes in waves and I don’t need to stress that I’ve lost who I am or that I’ve betrayed my soul.

~peace.

Wednesday

Was it last Friday I posted? Wow, these days are literally just flying off the calendar at record speed. The back to school stuff is only the beginning and I’m bracing myself for the deluge of what follows.

Today, I want to write something that I enjoy about writing. I enjoy creating make believe worlds. It makes sense why I loved (as a kid) Felix the Cat and his magic bag of tricks. He could make anything! Well, I don’t have a magic bag of tricks, but I have the knack for imagination. All I have to do is think of things outside of their norm among other things. Later, I use my fingers (my magic wands 😉 and wala! It’s a sort of grown up make-believe game.

And here’s an interesting happening: I recently got a part-time job and though it requires quite a bit of concentration, there are brief periods of stagnant time in which I play mind-make-believe. This kind of game usually happens while I do chores, cook, laundry and such, but now also at this job.

A writer’s everyday experience is not wasted time. Basically, it’s hands-on research.

That’s it for now.

~ciao

Friday’s “reviews”

I’ve read quite a few books now and learning so much. The main thing I’ve learned from good pieces of literature is not just having a story to tell, but how the story was told. For example, in All The Light We Cannot See, multiple character’s stories are told in the forward and backward traveling through time kind of fashion. It was a challenge to follow, as a reader, but in my opinion, gave the story some mystery as well as anticipation.

I can’t imagine the challenge for the writer, but then again, this is Pulitzer Award winning level. Yeah. I also have enjoyed the learning in reading good books. I enjoy smelling and looking at flowers, but I’ve never studied them. In The Language of Flowers, I was able to enjoy an inspiring story while also learning about flowers. Even if the story was about the character overcoming a difficult past, the reader is encouraged to open their eyes to the gifts people possess no matter their background.

In the The Martian, even though I’m not a technical geek ( I wish I was!) I could still enjoy how the author used humor to lighten the undeniably terrifying aspect of being left alone on the Planet of Mars. Had it not been for the comedic relief, I might not have been able to read this book. So, humor, sarcasm and well placed cuss words granted realness to a gifted main character.

Now, after reading quite a few books, I might be falling forever into the rabbit hole of literature, never to be found again. Thank you writers for keeping your dreams of telling us great stories. You’re appreciated!

Lately

With the recent tragic events of late, I find myself with very few words to share these days. I would like to be the voice of encouragement, but I do that better with pictures. I feel the need for a National Day or weeks of mourning.

But, just as we begin to put our hands together to pray, another awful thing happens. I don’t know any of the people that have been tragically killed, but I still feel for and think about them and the families they’ve left behind and the time. May God have mercy on them and us all.

Friday’s reflection

Lately, I feel as if a cat not only has my tongue, but the neurons attached to it that lead to the part of the brain where words are formulated! It sucks, too, since I call myself a writer. But, I refuse to call it writer’s block, that sounds so, well, easy or typical. I don’t think that’s true for me. I have plenty of words, opinions and ideas, but, I don’t always sit at my laptop and spew them all out.

I think I’ll just invent a new term. I think what I experience is a sort of writer’s hibernation phase.

What is W.H.P? (Writer’s Hibernation Phase) Well, it’s when you reach a certain age and the neurons in your brain have to realign themselves due to so much data exposure.

In other words, not all things slow down with age, actually, I believe things neurologically speaking, speed up. But, on the surface, it may appear to slow. But in reality, the older brain is sifting through data at rapid rates trying to sort through the many ideas, concepts, principles, etc. to let go of and which new input to adopt.

How’s that for a theory? 😉

Enjoy the weekend amigos!

~Peace.